Little Writings. Some Rants.

//2016 Writing Endeavors and Rants\\

So, the semester comes to a close, another six months of a young life at a new place with new people. Endless piles of homework that make the future seem abysmal at best. A few interesting animes, some switching in mmorpgs, some brutal battles in and for relationships… And I haven’t written anything but mostly half-intended smut. And some editing of The Book.
You’d think that with so much going on, I’d have more fuel for my fires, but there are a few problems with that idealology:

  • I have a boyfriend
  • I have a boyfriend
  • I have full time torture imeanschool
  • I have a part to full time job

So, writing has been pretty much a no-go, no-time, no-want, no-fuel.

And after a few weeks of recuperation from the grind, I think I’m ready to write again.

But first,  let’s take a look at what I’ve done…

Originally, the first part of The Book started with footsteps stomping on the asphalt. I love that entrance. Truly. Problem #1 I discovered a year ago and have worked on since: I hate A.B. (Hazel.)

To give you some background, my main character, Hazel, (of whom we’ll title A.B. in recognition of her previous life in my story.) of the original draft is the last pleeb Earthling. She’s picked up by aliens that are on a life-long mission to save people from supacuhl monsterthingies called Shadows/Ambassadors/Ashen.

So, she finds she has an ability to mess with the natural world and can control wind. The people that picked her up say, “Oh, hey. We has that too :3 wez so kewl tooz! Can we be twinzies!” (Okay, they actually train her in the use of such a skill cuz she nearly kills everyone and herself… (in the second draft at least ;D))

She falls in love with the oh-so-sexy Merrikh who is the fire-ability hotshot first-mate on the ship who kinda.. eh… how do I put this lightly… he’s a bleeping brood.

Back to the present.

She has no personality.

None. Zet. Zilch. Zero.

You know those teen romance novels you read where the girl is literally swooning because a guy catches her eye?  She has no gut? She whines and cries at everything that is thrown her way, but someday builds up the courage to fight for the man she loves and in the second novel she falls in love with another guy and totally destroys the whole point of her character growth in the first book? (No, no, I’m not bitter at previous reading experiences. Why ever would you think so?)

Well, the book was originally written when that sort of gunk was my main means of inspiration.

Don’t get me wrong, teen romance novels will always have a place in my heart. There’s just a point where you look around yourself and realize that romance is very different from the middle school, high school yearnings.
I remember talking about this with a classmate of mine: Once you get to university, once you’re a twenty-something, romance takes on a whole different light: Now, you can actually date people. No attachments. Literally just: “I find you intriguing and would actually like to know you. Want to have dinner?” And if it progresses, great. And if it doesn’t, both parties walk away, mostly no hard feelings. Just, yknow, don’t get your hopes up. You’re actually trying to find a life-long mate now. Or just a one-night stand. Rules still apply… just… in different environments.

Poppy, you’re on a tangent.

Where was I…

Oh! The no-personality. Yes. yes.

Last Christmas (literally a few days over 12 months ago), after all the different revisions and reboots of my story, I started what we’ll call an Origin story for Merrikh. I love Merrikh. Despite his brooding and his squishiness, he’s my muse. Hands down. I wanted to work on the world that gave him his personality in the hopes of bringing more life to him. Thusforth came Your Fragile Planet. Not to be that one snobby writer or anything, but it sorta comes from a Carl Sagan quote.

“The significance of our lives and our fragile planet is then determined only by our own wisdom and courage. We are the custodians of life’s meaning… …If we crave some cosmic purpose, then let us find ourselves a worthy goal.”

And after years (seriously, through high school) of only getting to maybe thirty pages with my A.B. reboots… I wrote over eighty pages of a backstory. In almost one sitting.

Can I get a whoa?

So I had to take a step back and look at what I’d discovered, and what it meant to the story I knew, reformatted, re-stylized, re-scienced. (yes, that’s a word.)

  • Something needs to happen to Merrikh for the story to progress, but…
  • Writing from Merrikh may give away certain…
  • How does…
  • I hate A.B.

And after evaluating those thoughts and soul-searching, I came to a pretty solid conclusion:

F- it. I’m writing this from Merrikh’s pov.

And so I did.

I’m over 200 pages into a novel I’ve been working on for almost 10 years, really. The very very original transcription was only maybe 70 pages and complete.

So back to the previous thoughts over this year: I wrote and rewrote and rewrote and… the beginning of The Book.
And those bridges that I said I would cross when I saw them are looming.
And I’m stuck.


I wrote those three words and I stared at my screen for three whole minutes, seeking justification or self-reassurement. Nope. Nada. Nein. Am Stuck.

So what else did I do whilst getting myself stuck?

Well, thank you for asking. 😉’s right.

I wrote RaegerxMinori fanfiction smut.


5 responses

  1. WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO gurl you’ve come so far!
    I would love to read your first draft if you feel comfortable having an editor-buddy. (Though, I do take it seriously so I can’t show bias lol)
    Almost sounds like a mix between Truthwitch and Avatar but still different enough to stand on its own. Good luck with your project gurl!

    January 31, 2017 at 12:16 am

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