Little Writings. Some Rants.

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Beginning of an Aftermath

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Pickering’s Triangle Wisp credit: Rolf Geissinger

This is a scene from the Book I’ve been writing, mentioned in previous posts. This is not a fan-fiction. These are original characters in an original story from the mind of myself. Please do not recreate or distribute without permission.

Permission is easily attainable by messaging me here: fairiesroamwriting@gmail.com

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The human species often retains the remnants of an infantile object permanence; particularly upon visiting a member of a family unit or a space of significance. We expect that when we leave that place or those people, they will enter a pocket of existence undeterred by the axial rotations of a carbon stone orbiting a dying star, unfractured by the endless replication of chromosomes. We expect that when they open their doors to us even years later, they will be just standing from that chair they had just rested in upon telling you goodbye. Often this is characterized by your grandmother marveling at your growth, her house still smelling of the sugar cookies she baked with you five years ago as if they were baked just hours prior. But the pocket of existence is always in our minds: the telomeres shrink, the soccer field is levelled on behalf of enterprise. The sun ceases to rise.

The significant injury of loss is caused by the shattering of this object permanence: you realize all along that those people, that place was never in that bubble of existence. It was all a self-comforting illusion your neurons created to maintain the semblance of reality. A combination of neurotransmitters and stress hormones release; constricting the muscles in your chest and building that ball of sorrow in your throat. The tears flow.

And yet the moment Hazel saw him standing in the door, it was as if he’d never entered the pocket of existence that throttled his body into the lightless abyss between the stars. His hair had never turned to that ashy brown, his eyes never faded, his breathing had never faltered. He stood as certain as any of the universe’s foundational laws: that a body with significant mass will attract objects to it, that oxygen bumping into volatile elements will certainly ignite.

The embers of his hair flickered light against the door frame, his large arms crossed over his chest. Hazel’s breath hitched, and the sensation of an oncoming train roared through her chest, rattling her ribcage as she stared openly at him, jaw sliding ajar.

Within a moment, the illusion was shattered. The initial grief of his passing collapsed around her, and she could clearly hear the crack as reality splintered like glass around her. The sharp edges sliced through her proverbial armor, leaving her spiraling through space like the pod they’d shuttled his body with.

He didn’t smile, and his red eyes didn’t dance in pleasant humor. His eyebrows were drawn in a serious countenance and creases at the corner of his eyes displayed a weariness she’d never seen him wear. The endless nights of tears filtered through her mind’s eye; the dead appetite, the screaming, the labor pains of a birth she should have never experienced alone, the painful gift that burned through her veins and left her without breath if she hadn’t a cautious grip on her own abilities.

“I don’t think I need to introduce you two,” Niv’adde murmured beneath his breath, leaning back against the counter.

Hazel swallowed, leveling her steely gaze at the man. He met her gaze as he always had, with a strength of a thousand horses. “Merrikh.”

 

Study Abroad: First Day in Kyoto

Look, Leafy’s Studying Abroad!

Leafさんの夢が。。。

I only knew that Kyoto was a tourist city and it was famous for its older buildings, but now I’m here. And we’ve been able to pick our way out of tourist traps to enjoy some of the hidden delights of the city!

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//Opioid Abuse and local policy changes: Rants.

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To those of you who don’t know much about me–which, let’s be honest, is probably most or all of you–I’m a pharmacy technican. A CPhT, if we’re getting fancy.

I love my job.

And not in the way that my coworker says it everyday, “IlovemyjobIlovemyjobIlovemyjobIlovemyjob.” She says it to be funny, but sometimes you kind of mean it. Sometimes you fill over five-hundred prescriptions in a usually slow-er retail pharmacy and stand at the register all day with a line and the drive-thru pinging over and over and over…

I’m not saying this in a self-convincing mantra that will somehow make my job any better. I’m not even saying it to be funny, because “Ha-ha, Poppy. Who really can whole-heartedly say they actually love their daily grind?”

 

… I didn’t think I would.

To be honest, I was working a dream-job under a local, professional photographer in my small hometown. But you know how small businesses go these days… They were running low on work hours and money, and I got the shaft.

To be fair, I wasn’t the best employee. I tend to let my ego get in the way of work when I get used to a certain routine. Not to say I was bad, I just… wasn’t hard-working. I started making mistakes that cost the company money… and even a few dollars here and there really amount to big sums over time.

So, I was a high-schooler who was bum out of a job. At this point in time, I was a senior in high school and I had no idea what to do with myself. I was pretty sure I was gonna go to school to do some research biology, do neuropsychology, or become a librarian. I’m a broad-spectrum kind of person.

The last thing I wanted to do was to return to the grocery store where I bagged two years before in my crummy-part-time-courtesy-clerk position. No fun. But, I needed a job.

That’s for another discussion, but I’ve always been a seriously independent person. Despite my parent’s (love you, single-Dad. You rock.) insisting that it was seriously okay, I was just in high school–not like I had to pay any bills or anything–I’ve just never been the person who could not work, when perfectly able to. Besides, college.

So, when I was “grabbed up” by an old friend who worked in the pharmacy, I thought I would hate it.

Boy was I wrong.

You know those things that you never try until the last moment and you find that you have a crazy passion for? Yeah. It was one of those.

My state is one of the worst for opioid overdose. Even before Prince died, we’ve had a serious problem. So, even just before Prince died and we got a state-wide standing order to prescribe Naloxone, I was on-board fully on wanting to be that pharmacist that won’t take a prescription from a doctor (even if they scream and threaten my career and fluff their chest feathers about being a more adequate medical professional) when I know it will literally kill the patient (… sad, but true story.)

So, I love my job. There is literally nothing more satisfying than fixing a prescription, solving a tough insurance problem, and learning so many new things on a daily basis. There is no better rush for me.

Sure, it has its ups and downs. Customers/Patients that will never be happy, for instance. Doctors, Nurses, and even patients that talk down to you like you haven’t worked in pharmacy for years… (doesn’t matter if you work there for 3 years or 50, let’s be honest…)

But it’s one of my favorite things, honestly. I love helping people. I love making people smile. I love solving problems. I love learning. I love horrible puns and dumb dad jokes. Perfect setting for all of those things.

So… Let’s talk about a.) my passion and b.) what’s frustrating right now.

Read the rest of this page »

Christian Mihai on Writing

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Just a little bit earlier yesterday, Christian Mihai, author and blogger extraordinaire, posted in his blog, sharing a little bit of his world with us.

I was going to reblog it because it really resonated with me, but I figured I’d go a little further and just kinda discuss the beauty of To Whom it May Concern.

If you don’t know about Christian Mihai, he’s a twenty-six year old who has tailored six short-stories and two novels (one of which is sitting on my kindle waiting to be read. I’ll get there, I promise!!) He’s a shameless advertisement plugger, youtuber, and has this voice in his daily blogs: he has that way of writing that penetrates your soul. His biography says he was born in Romania and can’t draw a straight line (me neither, Chris, me neither…)

I’ve met a few authors here on WordPress. I’ve read beautiful prose that brings tears to my eyes, giggled with cat memes, bounced up and down in excitement at shared titles in writing playlists, and discussed how to handle those characters that sneak up on you.

I’ll talk about those later. And surely, all of these encounters have struck me in a certain way. No ifs or buts, I feel blessed to have met and shared some of your world with you in these small interactions.

So here’s my and statement:

Christian Mihai, I get you. I never thought of it that way before.

To Whom it May Concern (link above, if you haven’t read it yet.) is an 870 word exploration into Mihai’s philosophy on life and writing that really struck me. Now, I’ve read his other blog posts, such as the one about Atlas , that also struck a chord with me. (Who can’t respect a quote from Ayn Rand?)

Anywho, if you haven’t read his stuff, please do. He’s a gem.

This was my favorite part.

Every once in a while someone asks me for writing advice. “How do I write a good story? What makes good writing good?”

There is only one answer.

Find the thing you’re afraid of the most, rummage through your brain until it hurts, and write about it.

Because in all those years that’s what I did. I wrote about what I had and lost, about what I never had, and about all that I was certain I’d never have.

And I wrote until all my wounds healed. Now I’m working on inflicting myself new ones.

As much as art is a constructive process, in which we play God, at the same time is also a destructive process, in which we break pieces of our soul and throw them on paper.

I kinda relate to this a lot.

If you ask my mother, I was writing before I knew letters, and would present to her these squiggle tales in such detail, read aloud in my mickey mouse voice.

I’d always wanted to write.

It really wasn’t until I lost large and very important things in my life that my writing began to be filled with substance. Before shit hit the fan, my writing was empty.

So while my methods certainly may not be the same, I can’t help but empathize with Chris.
I’d like to add to the suggestion that writing is a constructive process, because while writing breaks down our psyche for the readers in sometimes unknowingly (to them) intimate ways, and builds worlds and allows us to “play God,” as he wrote, writing can also act as the construction of scar tissue.
Food for thought.
If you agree or disagree, let me know in the comments. And visit Christian Mihai’s blog, read his books. The link to his page was hyperlinked above. If you’d like to discuss his quote, comment on the original post, also linked above.

Thank you all for your support 🙂
-Poppy
***battle buddies will not resume this week. University is kicking my you-know-what. I’ll return next week with some more lovely merrikh.****

Between the Stars: Merrikh/Hazel Scene

***This is from The Book (my original story). I started writing this earlier and wasn’t sure if it really had a place in the actual storyline, but I really liked it.

It’s not entirely logical with the events in The Book: Doesn’t align well with the timeline. I’m pretty sure this would be strategically impossible to put in the book itself.

These characters are mine. This world is mine. No touchey without permission, please!!!***

If you like the featured image, it’s the Bubble Nebula, photographed by the Hubble Telescope.

—This is a super short scene between three characters. If you like it and want more, let me know.

A bit of background information that may explain some things. Merrikh is an alien. Hazel is from Earth. Mush is the captain of the ship, Sidereal, and Merrikh’s best friend (easily.) Sidereal is a spaceship that picks up people from planets that are in danger from this dark, ominous race of Shadows (essentially.) that suck the energy at astonishing rates from planets (devouring planets) before moving on. Sidereal tries to save as many species as possible (sentient and not) before the Shadows take over.

Merrikh’s sister died during the evacuation of his planet when one starpod crashed into another. She was an honorable Far-Seer, and foresaw the apocalypse of their solar system.

I hope that clears some things up. I’ll probably post more about Sister and Merrikh’s old planet. I really like them. They don’t fit in The Book very well, but interesting and lots of back story, to be sure.—-

Desert/Between the Stars

 

Dust.

All was dust, scattered where the planet used to reside, caught in a phantom gravitational field. Billions of people, thousands of buildings, plants, animals… all dust. All that was and ever would be scattered as tiny particles that might someday build stars or planets. But for now, and for the next trillion years, it was a desert among the void, hanging motionless between the stars.

The starpod hovered nearby, white under-glow bright against the blackness of space. Two men sat silently in the cockpit, staring out at the remnants of a solar system.

“This is it, then,” Merrikh said with a deep breath. “This is all that’s left.” A memory tickled the back of his head. Dust…

“We’re all stardust.”
“What’d you say?” Merrikh asked.
“It’s something someone told me once,” the young woman said, light blue hair flitting about her face in the warm breeze. Merrikh was playing with the purple grass, plucking at the strands, enjoying the feel of the blades between his fingers. The night was cool, her small hand warm inside his own.  The red and white planet in the sky gleamed above their heads. “They said we were just the children of the stars. Nothing but star dust.” She chuckled, and the sound was a phantom melody that rang in his ears, over and over and…

Mush nodded solemnly beside him in the cockpit. “We were in the area, wasn’t sure if you’d seen it since…” His voice drifted with meaning, his eyes still facing forward. “I mean… I guess you wouldn’t have…”

Merrikh shrugged. “I dream about it sometimes.” He gestured at the scene ahead of them. “I guess I’ve always remembered what it looked like.” He shrugged helplessly.

Mush nodded with a slight grin. “Must be some of your Seer blood,” he joked half-heartedly.

Merrikh chuckled, but silence quickly filled the cockpit. “Speaking of…”

Mush shook his head and strapped himself in. “You don’t want to see that, Merrikh.”

“So it’s there, then,” Merrikh said, not facing the captain. “The wreckage.”

The small man nodded. “Pieces of starpod. Bits…” He shrugged helplessly. “Nothing decays in space.”

Merrikh felt a little sick at that. He swallowed the bile that threatened to emerge with the little he’d eaten before their quick side-expedition. He knew he shouldn’t have asked. He could almost feel the pressure in his head at the memory of the corkscrewing flight that changed his life forever.

He forced his mind to other thoughts, pointing to another large body of dust. “That’s one of the moons, isn’t it?’

“Our calculations show that’s where it was,” Mush affirmed.

“Is it still orbiting?”

The captain shrugged, “I don’t handle that extent of the astrophysics, Merrikh.”

“Wish I could’ve shown…” Merrikh’s voice trailed off, and he scratched his neck with a sly grin. “Nevermind.”

Mush smiled beside him. “Let’s head back then. I just needed to show you…” The captain swallowed. “I mean, we were close enough, so…”

Merrikh smiled and slapped his friend on the shoulder. “Thanks, don’t worry about it.” He strapped himself tighter into his seat, tapping at the controls.

Mush followed suit and the blasters fired, carrying the small spacecraft into light speed and back to Sidereal.

—–

 

Hazel kissed Merrikh’s temple, her pale face bright in the moonlight glow simulation in the wall, light hair gleaming along the curve of her shoulder. “Talk to me?”

Merrikh’s arm squeezed her hip, fingertips tracing the length of thigh that was draped across his diaphragm. “I saw my planet.”

Her fingers threaded through his hair, calming the static embers that still flickered in the remnants of their lovemaking. He sighed in bliss at the massage against his scalp, leaning into her hand. “Was it bad?” she asked softly.

“It’s exactly as I remember it…” he murmured, pulling her palm from his scalp to kiss the inside slope of her thumb. “What has it been?” he murmured to himself, pressing her hand into his chest and stroking her knuckles. “Almost eighteen years now…”

She kissed his temple again. Her other arm cradled his head, and she bent her hand to squeeze his shoulder. “You don’t look a day over twenty-six,” she told him, nuzzling his hair.

He chuckled, “I don’t know what that means,” he assured her. “I think my species lives a lot longer than yours…”

Hazel smiled, pulling her hand from his on his chest and turning his chin to face her. “You mean I won’t see you as an old man?” she teased, tugging on his striking red hair, pouting playfully, “I’ve always wanted a man with a bit of grey.”

Merrikh pulled her closer and kissed her, tucking a strand of her blonde hair behind her tiny ear. “Ah,” he teased, kissing her nose, “But you’ll be an old woman before long,” he assured her. His fingers tickled over her ribs, making her body retaliate. “Plenty of grey for the both of us.”

She pulled his hand from her ribs, grimacing slightly, her silver eyes dancing in the dark. “I think I’ll be too grey for you by then.”

Merrikh shook his head, twining their fingers together, “No,” he murmured matter-of-factly. “You’ll be just as silver.” He kissed her neck, turning them over so he hovered over her. “And I think silver is my favorite color.”

Battle Budding: Battle Buddies Part Six

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This is art from here. Not Mine.

***This is a continuation of the Battle Buddies Rune Factory 4 Fan Fiction.

I hope you guys liked that last one. Sorry there wasn’t more Doug x Dylas or Dylas x Arthur. I was thinking of continuing this one to break Dylas’ heart and go Frey x Arthur as some of you have asked for…

All in good time, my dear readers! ;D all in good time.

I just wanna thank you guys for the likes and the views 😀 Thanks for the support. Please comment, as well. 🙂 Let me see if there’s anything you’d like me to write (pairings, for example. –this is not exclusive to the RF4 universe. — or particular scenes.) I’d be very happy to share the love.

Also, let me know what you think in the comments below!

Okay… Now for disclaimers: If you have not read one, two, three, four, or five… Please do so. I do not claim to or own any of these characters, or the fan art displayed. All are property of their respective owners.

Without further ado, please enjoy this next chapter of Battle Buddies!****

Battle Budding.

Frey cursed to herself as she patted down her hair and tried desperately to wipe soil from her cheeks. Her spinach had grown a little quicker than she’d expected. Normally, that would be cause for celebration, but with a crop being shipped out meant another crop planted. She couldn’t believe how late she was running.

She scrubbed her face and changed her clothes and all but ran out of her room, tripping over her feet in the process.

“Whoah, hey!”

She landed against something solid and warm. He smelled of clean laundry, warm cooking, and… was that hay?

She froze. She knew that smell. Read the rest of this page »

Battle Buddies Part Five: Battle Bros

 

***this one is a lot shorter than previous chapters. Sorry for the shortness. But hey! I made it on time ;D

—to be fair, I’ve had this written since 4 was published, I’m almost done editing part six. You’ll likey. Promise <3–=

This is the fifth installment of the fan-fic “Battle Buddies.” If you haven’t read one, two, three, or four, please do so. Like, comment, subscribe. All those goodies.

Again, these characters are not mine. The world and the characters exist in a copyrighted game called Rune Factory 4. I’m just playing with them 😉
The artwork in this post are from the tumblr blog: http://dylas-doug.tumblr.com/ and drawn by the folks there. I do not claim any of it as my own. If you like their work, I highly recommend you follow them. 😀

I hope you enjoy this installment. And as I promised, I should hopefully get started on an Arthur x Frey fic soon. Look forward to it!

Without further ado, I give you…****

 

Battle Bros

 

Arthur was silent for a long time. Dylas alternated from pacing to leaning against the desk with his arms crossed and back again. He ran his hands over and through his mane, catching snarls. “I took the fish,” he sighed, throwing up his hands. “I should have just left them at her room… or… something.”

“She said she liked you?” Arthur murmured in bespectacled wonder, his eyes wide beneath the thin glass. He removed the frames from his face and squeezed the bridge of his nose, squeezing his eyes tightly shut. “She confessed her feelings to you and you’re pacing my study talking about fish.”

Dylas all but threw himself backwards into a chair and his face hit his palms, and he let out a low groan. “What do I do?”

Arthur stared at him, long and hard. “Do you like her?” Read the rest of this page »

//Discussions of Inspiration and Muses.. (Plus some Kpop..)

So, I’ve been meaning to talk to you guys for awhile now about inspiration and my muses. I’ve created and (accidentally) destroyed two or three different drafts of discussions and I’m deciding I should just combine them.

So… Let’s talk about my muse, shall we?

My Writing Muse

My writing muse is literally my OC. He’s a fiery (literally… and, of course, stereotypically…) and brooding individual that really (ahaha) fires up my world… Which makes me seem a little crazy but bear with me.

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Cover art of the Celldweller album, End of an Empire. I do not own this artwork.

So I’ve been writing The Book since middle school. Long before Celldweller dyed his hair red and published his album, End of an Empire. But let’s be fair… he looks like Merrikh. sans hair flip. sans… well… actually… he’s pretty close to how I’ve always envisioned Merrikh. Merrikh just has more tanned skin… and fancy ears. Cuz… he’s an alien.

He’s the first-mate of the spaceship–but really in name only. He’s just best buddies with the captain and actually manages the “boiler” room of the ship. Read the rest of this page »

Battle Buddies: Battle Buddies? (Part Four)

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**Hey guys, sorry for the late update. School’s been kicking my butt. If you don’t mind it about 24 hours a little late…

Here’s the next installment of the Rune Factory 4 fan fiction. If you haven’t read parts 1,2 or 3: You can skip one if you please, but you cannot skip 2 or 3 before reading this one. Part One is a one-shot (teehee) but two, three, and four are a part of a longer arc. I’ve got a LOT more to come… This is coming together more than I thought it would…

Anywho, disclaimers abound: These are not my characters. This is not my world. That is not my picture (original art by Annette Jones of Tumblr) Go play RF4. It’s a stupid addicting game.

Also… Please forgive Dylas. He knows not what he do.***

 

Battle…Buddies?

 

A knock on the door woke Dylas from his slumber, and he rolled groggily out of bed. After Porculine had bounded into his room early on in his living arrangements here at the restaurant, he had made it his very most important chore every night to lock his bedroom door.

He tied the waist sash of his blue robe and ran his fingers through his mane, shaking the sleep from his eyes and opened the door, chiding loudly, “What do you want, Porculine?” His frustration ebbed quickly away into shock.

He stumbled back from the door, wishing for all the world he could disappear and hide. Well, why was that, then? It was his room. And after all, it was only Frey.

The young woman stood in the doorframe, eyebrows raised in concern as he got his feet twisted in his robe and fell back to catch himself on his desk chair. “Are you okay?” she asked, sincerely concerned. She blushed and started to turn, “Maybe it’s not a good time, I’ll come back—“

“No!” Dylas all but yelled, then cleared his throat, regaining his balance and shaking out his mane again, “Now’s not, eh…” he frowned and scratched at his scalp. “You just, uh, surprised me.”

Read the rest of this page »

//To My Sisters

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Dear Sisters,

There are a lot of times I do things that I wish you didn’t see; because they’re not things you’re supposed to do.

So I’m going to lay it out for you as well as I can so when you’re older you’ll read this and say, “Huh. Guess she really did think of us all the time like she said she did.”

Yeah. I do think of you. All. The. Time.

First off:

Once you find your passions, stick to them. You’ll have more than one, usually, or you’ll have one thing that you’re absolutely obsessed with. Stick with it. Whether it’s you have a love for medicine, film, flying airplanes, science, caring for animals. Whether you’ll love archery or fencing. The world is your oyster, girls. We live in a magnificent time where “woman power” is a real thing. Take advantage of the opportunities that will be open to you that weren’t available to me at your age. Read the rest of this page »